The Peach Tree and The Four Agreements

After not producing much fruit the past few years, the peach tree behind my building finally has some fruit. I love seeing the tree looking healthy as it goes through its annual cycle. However, I do not have much hope for tasty home-grown peach sweetness tickling my taste buds. The peaches are still small and pale in mid-August and historically the tree has not produced particularly tasty fruit, but the tree is doing its best to thrive and that makes me happy. The small urban garden in which it grows is lovingly tended to by my fabulous neighbor, who does his best with the peach tree despite the not so ideal peach tree growing conditions.

Like us all, the peach tree has its ups and downs. The first year I lived in the building, the tree produced a prolific amount of peaches. It wasn’t just dripping peaches, it was shitting peaches. We’re talking peaches all over the yard, the parking lot, and rolling down the hill level of shitting peaches. They were not fresh sexy succulent juice dripping down your chin peaches. No matter how you sliced, diced, grilled or stewed them they just sucked. There was serious discussion by building management as to the the fate of the peach tree.

Obviously the tree remains. While its fruit may be only for the birds and one year it had some funky leaf fungus, it keeps weathering on and contributing to the cycles of nature, attracting hummingbirds and other visitors and just doing its best.

Always do your best. We’re encouraged to do our best from a young age. The idea is to establish your own personal best. However, external and internal pressures to push oneself to a new personal best, coupled with the fact that our “best” varies from day to day, makes that a constant challenge. Feeling like you came up short or failed is a low energetic vibration. Who wants to feel low all the time while trying to do your best? And it’s hard to do your best when you feel low. Start spin cycle.

One of the books I wish I’d read earlier in life is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The simple principles in it aimed at helping identify self-limiting beliefs resonate with me. Self-limiting beliefs are the root of much of our anxiety. To summarize the The Four Agreements, always do your best with the understanding that it will vary from day to day, be impeccable with your word, don’t make assumptions nor take things personally. In working with the Four Agreements a simple question to ask yourself or another person is “do I know this to be true?”

If the answer is yes, what is the action?

If the answer is no, then why are you tripping?

The Four Agreements

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with Integrity.

How are you using words? Impeccable doesn’t mean “nice”. Sometimes being “impeccably honest” will not be nice, but you can choose to be kind in your delivery. And that applies to how you speak to yourself as well as others. Notice what you think and say about yourself and others. Do you know it to be true?

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you.

Easy in concept but challenging in practice when someone straight up insults you. However, I’ve been called some horrible things and it usually is a reflection of the person doing the name-calling. General rule of thumb is to let someone else be the bigger asshole. But if you’re going to be the villain in their eyes regardless, you may as well pick some choice impeccably honest words. But do you know it to be true?

Don’t Make Assumptions
Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding, sadness, and drama.

This one is HUGE. Ask questions, state what you want, and do it in real time or a timely manner. Why create anxiety for yourself and others by not clarifying a situation? I find this adage - “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me”- super annoying which is my signal to take note not dismiss the message.

Always Do Your Best
Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.

My best can be thrown off by the shoes I’m wearing so cut yourself some slack if you’re not hitting your stride. Definitely challenge yourself, but also be kind and recognize when you or someone else IS doing their best in the moment. And before passing judgment on yourself or another person, do you know this to be true?